. eye of the storm ;

[nuzzer2]

; Jaliya

Slender pillars carries my exhausted body fourth my insides are screaming – screaming for release, I want to let my demons loose so badly, scream at the world for letting me down you will never be strong enough, you were never good enough, feel your punishment. This was the ultimate punishment, for making a pact with the angels above – for swearing my loyalty to someone else than him, I had been his faithful servant for years, and one prayer gone wrong and this had to happen – my poor little – I cut myself off, I was the one to blame I am nothing but a twisted bitch, I will never deserve anything else than this.

The pressure was reaching new heights, my insides are burning – the flames are licking at my insides, my body can’t handle this kind of pain pushing and pushing over the edge his voice in my ear – I scream and I scream even louder, my throat is ripped and I feel liquid running down yet I continue to scream – but it’s not enough it’s never enough. Pillars take off in an amazing speed carrying my bay body away, away from the nightmares – away from the pain – away from him. I’m covered in sweat and my body threatens to break down, yet my pillars won’t stop – and my throat won’t stop screaming I’ll come for you, with you my dear No no no! I push my body more – and more, nothing can stop me now I’m watching you the trees are reaching for me – closing in, touching me, trying to make me fall but I will not, I will not break down.

I hear water – sanctuary! I’ll be safe from his haunting grasp – safe from her little lifeless body. My thundering hooves echoes through the whole valley, but I don’t care, nothing will stop me now – before me is a little waterfall and I’m approaching it fast – the waterfall ends in a tiny lake which I don’t even stop for, but throw myself directly into. The water closes around my ears and I close my haunted eyes, the voice finally stop and I slowly fight my way towards the surface, finally, I make my way towards the shore and I collapse gasping for air. The chilly air around me cools my body down – a little too fast maybe – but I don’t care, he is gone, I got away, no more haunting eyes, no more screaming, no more whispering.

Finally I open my tired orbs, they are dull – why me? My usually calm collected personality ripped away as fast as you snap your fingers, why? Because of her I close my haunted eyes, yes, because of her.. Sobs rip through my whole body – I’m shivering and all of my muscles are arching “It hurts, it hurts” I manage to get out, I loved her so, talked with her all those months – spent moments just laying in the grass watching my belly grow and grow – and then it came out, what was supposed to be my beautiful little filly..

She had been my dream, my only proof of the love between me and my mate – my dear mate, eaten by hungry wolves on a chilly winter morning. I had sworn my allegiance to the angels above then, sworn to serve them loyally if they just let my little girl come out perfect – but that had been too much to ask. She had come out without problems, but it had not been a equine that came out of my slender body – it had been something tainted and dirty. She had been completely deformed, her hooves were pretty much non-existent and her legs were short and would never be able to carry her – she had been gasping for her breath, and I knew something was wrong on her insides – something was broken and could not be fixed, there had only been one option.

Yes, I killed my own daughter with my sharp hooves – and it had hurt like hell. My dark side had been lost the days up to her birth and I had not felt its sticky touch before now – I was free of his grasp, and I had to start over. My head fell to the soft ground and I let out a long deep sigh, I would rest now – here on the shore of an unknown land, if the gods willed it I would die or live.
“I’m scared” [/color]

let your demons loose.

[azul.]

R I K U

...Omoidaseba, haruka haruka.

"Come little Riku, just come here and let me help you." No Xehanort. I don't need your help. I don't need you in my life anymore. But, still... Why couldn't I get rid of him? It was like he was intertwined within my heart. Even if he was still here, yelling at me, and trying to find his way into my mind, I knew that I would eventually win it. Sora and Kairi- the others too- were on my side, and that was important. As long as I had them, as long as they backed me up, I'd have the light with me. I had that ounce of strength, that I could only have when they were with me, so I needed to do this for them. Make them proud? Yes, I need to make them proud, but I need to make myself proud too, and by doing this, I was.

I recently had taken refuge to a colt called Serpent. Not even a weanling, I had planned this out well, besides the fact that I had no way to give him the nutrients that he really needed. Great job Riku, way to speak before you think. But wait, I did think, just not this particular part. Anyhow, I was rambling off subject. Lakita made me a dare- a promise, you could say. She thought that Serpent would die or she would be with him soon. Please, that just added the fuel to my little spark. This was ridiculous, how some of these horses acted. Your own flesh and blood, passed up for something far less superior. Hmm, and to think, Xehanort was like that. No, he was smarter, but he did the worst things with his intelligence.

I was moving while I thought. I wandered- what is it with me and wandering? No matter the reason, I moved slowly, my blue-green tinted eyes glittered with a curiousity as I walked along the tuf. I'd been near here a day ago, picking up Serpent. Picking up, ha, it sounded like everything was a job. Some was a job, some things weren't, oh well. My breath was exhaled heavily as my legs hit a hard spot in the turf. It made me stumble, and I finally concentrated on the area around me. I could hear the water flowing before I could see it. It surprised me, a little. Wait, no kidding Riku. Dekera Falls, it was pretty obvious that there would be water. Just a moment where I didn't think, I suppose.

Once I saw the falls, I saw an even greater- no, stranger sight. A lone mare high tailed it into the lake. I blinked, my eyes quizzical. Snorting, I continued to watch her as she climbed out. This was getting odder and odder by the minute. So, me being the horse who was generally odd, I made my way over there. I was silent, making sure to remain unknown. It wasn't a volent plan, I just wanted to see what was wrong, but I don't think that approaching this quietly was so smart. Once I was next to her, almost above her, looming around the air, I spoke quietly. I could barely hear her words. "I'm scared." That could mean a boat load of things, so I spoke. My voice was welcoming; quiet and concerned.

"Are you scared of the darkness? It's within every heart. Some worse then others. Or is it something deeper, lying within your heart... A dreaded memory, like mine? Can you hear them?"

I was actually caring about her, and I didn't know a single thing about her, except that she was scared. I was scared too, maybe for different things, but I don't know. All I was doing was staring at her. My crown was lowered, and my mug bumped her slowly, maybe affectionately. She looked like Kairi. I knew it wasn't her, something was different, but I always had that spot for them. It was just a wonderful memory that I had to remember.

[nuzzer2]

; Jaliya

I saw swirling rings in the darkness, it was like staring down at a tar colored lake – just this lake wasn’t made of water, it was made of blood. My heartbeat increased as I saw drops of more blood drip into the already huge pit, when would the nightmares end? Ku ku ku, who says this is a nightmare? I tried to rip my eyes open, but I realized with horror, I couldn’t – what was this place? I heard the blood drip again – my heart followed its beat and my orbs lowered to see where the sound came from – and I screamed.

My eyes flung open and I jumped to my legs – which were a huge mistake, my head was spinning and my whole body arching and hurting. I stood there for a moment shaking and shivering, until I actually realized someone was there with me "Are you scared of the darkness? It's within every heart. Some worse then others. Or is it something deeper, lying within your heart... A dreaded memory, like mine? Can you hear them?" the words were ringing in my ears. My tired eyes sought out his and I cursed myself for letting my guard down – an Arabian stallion, grey in color and with jade green eyes was standing quite close to me. Somehow I felt connected with this male already – of course after I realized there were no lurking intentions behind his quiet façade.

“Who are you? I – yes, you can call it a dreaded memory”

I paused, would it be smart to tell him about the voices? What if he decided this stallion should be punished for talking to a cursed mare like me? Where has your brain gone foolish girl? This time it wasn’t the voice of the one, I expected – no – it was the voice of my old ‘mother’, how? My tired orbs were shining with confusion. ‘Mother?’ I called in my mind, oh wow good job Jailya, now you’re even talking to them! I shook my slender head quickly, and turned my focus back to the stallion standing in front of me.

“You must think I’m insane, but yes I can hear – him”

My voice shivered slightly as I uttered the word of ‘him’ and I let out a bark of a laugh.

“I’m being punished you see, dark mares should stay dark, if only I had gone by that, she would still be alive”

I closed my eyes as tears began to gather, it was unprofessional, here I was standing in a completely unknown land – spilling out my secrets to a stranger, what a perfect dark mare I was! But then again, there was something over this stallion, I felt a close bond with him already, and something called ‘trust’ I haven’t felt for months washed in on me again.

“Who are you?”

I stared at him with clear confusion and, I guess a little bit of curiosity. Was he some kind of non-earthy creature? I didn’t like this feeling of trust he was sending off in waves – it pricked in my entire body and I moaned slightly in pain, oh yes I was alive, my crying body made sure of that. My mind returned to the ‘nightmare’ I had before he arrived, why couldn’t I sleep without them? It’s always the same, a blood pit – blood dropping from my hooves, the blood of my little filly.

Your guardian angel

[azul.]

R I K U

...Mirai wa, doko made mo, kagaiyateta.

Wow, right now, I felt like I was pretty sane. My auduals flicked back and forth, my lowered crown turned curiously towards the lake that she was staring at. I just saw a normal lake, and though the water was decently murky, it wasn't bad. I could see the bottom in some shallow areas, the bottom being just a sandy floor. She must've been imagining things that were worse. A lot worse. I felt bad for her, but her next few movements made me wince, my light eyes closing. Auduals flattened against my head, and I shook my crown. She screamed, not just a small squeal in displeasure, but a roar. A scream of terror, at that. I snorted uneasily, and raised my crown, watching her.

She flung herself up into the air, landing on her legs. I wanted to calmly, but firmly ask her to stay down, and rest. It looked like she needed it. But she still got up, and I stepped back, legs moving one after another. She ws shaking, trembling. I was like that too, when I first saw the look-a-like mare, who I would later find out to be Sophie. I shook, I screamed, I attacked everything around me. So I strangely understood what she was going through. She spoke, making me twist my crown in an intent angle. I also listened closely to her while she spoke. Auduals, still echoing from her scream, tipped forward. I snorted, a smile creasing onto my facial features. I didn't speak though, in response. I didn't need to. "Yes, you can call it a dreaded memory." Ah, well, that was another thing we had in common.

"Riku, this is Xehanort. Why don't you just kill her, and take her heart? It will help me, you know." Xehanort. Leave me alone. You know she needs help, I can't let her. Just be quiet. "I can hear- him." Oh, so it was a him? It was in your mind too. Just like a certain someone that I know. Right Xehanort? I had to chucle at that. She may think that I was laughing at her, but it wasn't like that. Oh well, I guess that was a mistake. My laughing ended as quickly as it began. I watched her speak again. This time, I let my eyes stare, right at her. Dark mare, she, still alive... My eyes closed, opened, then blinked. Then I spoke.

"I think you are just as insane as I am. I can also hear someone in my head. He shouldn't be known, but he won't leave me alone."

I paused, staring up at the sky for a few moments, before speaking again.

"She, would still be alive. You say you're a dark mare... What does that mean? You don't seem like a Nobody, or a Heartless, but you still claimed to be evil. Why?"

That was rather confusing. I didn't know where she was. She said that she was a dark, said that she wished she'd still been a dark. Was she like Sora and Kairi, or like Xehanort, or Cloud, or- Quit it Riku, don't rush ahead of yourself. Just relax. I snorted, watching the female. Tears began to flood from her eyes. Slowly, my mug reached forward, and bumped her small jaw line. I drew back, and watched her speak. She asked me a question. Who are you? Xehanort's side of me kicked in. "I am nothing of your importance." No, I'm Riku, from Destiny Islands. I'm here to find Sora and Kairi. "It doesn't matter, you aren't going to be here much longer." Yes I am. When they come back for me, I'll be there, with them again. I'll be home.

"I'm Riku. Who are you?"

I asked her kindly. My blue-green tinted eyes glittered with that old recognition. Of course I didn't know her, but she reminded me of Kairi so much. It was strange to be like that. The old and the new, it was amazing, and scary at the same time. I just, didn't know what to do, but I need to be strong for her, for them, for myself.

[nuzzer2]

;Jaliya
Memories could be a good thing and they could be a real pain in the ass, in my case mostly the last. I was supposed to act calm and collected, be the warrior princess I’ve always been yet I’m standing here, sharing my insane secrets with a stallion who is just as insane as myself. A short laugh left my maw but quickly disappeared again when I noticed his expression – why had he not run off yet? He was clearly facing a mentally disturbed mare – what if I had been dangerous? Filled with evil thoughts and unpredictable? A frown slipped onto my dark muzzle, was this male always so sure of himself? I watched him with curious eyes – my words appeared to be sinking into his brain and I was expecting him to turn and run at any minute – yet he didn’t.

I kept my gaze looked onto this strange male, true to be said I was extremely curious about this equine. As his muzzle connected with mine I was surprised – happily surprised, so he didn’t hate me yet? Good.

“I am not a ‘nobody’, however heartless? I don’t know – would you be able to kill your own spawn with your very own hooves? Would you be able to crush their little defenseless body as if it was a bug?”

My eyes narrowed for each passing second as the memories flooded my brain, and the images of my little filly popped up. I didn’t mean to take it out on him, I wasn’t even present to hear my own venom filled tone – I was far away, living in the past, reliving what happened over and over in my confused head. Wake up you stupid bitch there it was again, the voice of my ‘mother’ – ripping me out of my nightmare and bringing me back to the present.

“She was born deformed, her legs would never be able to carry her and something inside her was destroyed – I had no other choice..”

I stared at this unknown stallion with pleading eyes – begging him to not turn away and leave me alone with the nightmares again, yes I was not myself at the moment and maybe he wouldn’t even like my true personality, but I was scared of being left alone with the nightmares and the voices. How hilarious actually, a dark mare afraid of the dark – I had officially reached new limits in being weak.

“I’m sorry, I’m not being myself at the moment I guess, it was very recently it happened and I haven’t quite gotten over it yet, it’s nice to meet you Riku – I’m Jaliya”

I straightened my slender frame up as my ears twitched forward and I tried to push everything away, I needed to be myself – to regain my composure, before it was lost completely. I was and would always be a proud Arabian mare, there was no taint in my lines and my parents – and grandparents had been excellent fighters, I needed to follow in their footsteps and carry my lines proudly. Deep eyes sank back and became empty of emotions and I curved my neck slightly.

Don't let me down

[azul.]

R I K U

...Kirei na aozora no shita de.

In a small, little inking of a way, I appeared as if I was so sure, confident. Over-confident, I hadn't been since I raced and battled with Sora back on the islands. But when I left, and Xehanort found me, that was all drained away. I highly doubted, borderline sure, that I would be the same colt again, unless I saw them. Even then, I don't think I'd be myself. It was the truth, the sad, sad truth. Sometimes, life just wasn't fair, to me, to her, to anyone. But, my life consisted of two parts, didn't it? Xehanort would always be a part of me, I think, so he must have a pretty bad life too. No. He didn't have a bad life. He would have been dead, or at least, in spirit, and luckily for me, he chose me. Now that, was really unfair, but I couldn't complain much.

Well, I really couldn't complain much. This female before me seemed to have it bad, but hey, I did too. It was like we were joined together already, and I didn't know her. "One sky, one destiny Riku, remember? Right now, your destiny is with her. Make it the best you can." I smiled, my blue-green eyes closing slowly. Kairi, don't ever change. In an out of body moment, I could feel the warmth from Sora and Kairi, one on each side of me, crowded together. I missed you guys, so much. My eyes remained close, and my crown lifted to release a small sigh of longing. When my eyes opened, I stared at the ground, gathering up my breath, and my mind. When I finished, I continued to stare at the mare.

Oh, that's right. She didn't understand the meaning of a Nobody and a Heartless. I really didn't want to explain it, so my crown shook, making my steel grey tassels flick against the spring breeze. Whatever the matter, she explained the killing of her child. My eyes grew blank, and they trailed to the ground, and I mumbled a few quiet words. "I was like that." "No you weren't Riku, Xehanort was. It's not your fault." Yes it was, I wasn't string enough to fight. I'm just as bad as my weakest link, Namine had said. Well, I was the weakest link, so I couldn't go anywhere. I couldn't go down, couldn't go up, because I was at the bottom, drowning in the dark. It was time to speak, so I did. My tone was quiet.

"If you enjoyed watching her die, then yes. I'd consider you a Heartless, but you aren't that type, are you. But you did have a choice. It was a dilemma, live in pain, or kill, and remember the memories. Both are bad, and you chose the latter."

It was hard to choose between death and life, if life hurt you, and death left you with the painful memories. It wasn't good like that, so, what to do? Then, she spoke again. I listened closely. Jayila. Definately not Kairi, but I smiled. My mug reached out, bumping her again. It was a "nice to meet you," gesture. I smiled again, this time, I stared at the ground. It took me a while to form any words, but I eventually did. My tone was kind, but it sounded odd for me. It was like Xehanort was fighting it was in, and I was powerless to stop it.

"Everyone needs time to settle. When I left Sora and Kairi, two years ago. I still hear them, in my mind. They are somewhere, I will find them, but the other side of me, he won't let me relax. Ever feel like life itself is trying to harm you? My hikari is with them, but he is the darkness, and he's winning the life long battle. It's scary."

I nodded at my words, as if I hadn't said them. My voice broke off, and I sighed so quietly, I tipped my auduals forward to catch the breath. Life. It was cruel.

[nuzzer2]

; Jaliya

Eyes softened as I watched Riku and I felt myself relax again, I just couldn’t pretend around him – I had a feeling he would see straight through me with those emerald eyes. My new ‘friend’ if I could call him that appeared to be lost in thoughts, so I observed him for a while, he appeared to be hm troubled? I wished I could break hear the whole story about this Sora and Kairi, he seemed to long for them so much, that I felt my heart ache for him – oh wow now, I actually had a heart! Perhaps it was just my own selfish need for someone to share the pain with, or maybe I really did trust this stallion already , I didn´t know – I slowly reached out and touched his muzzle gently with my own, as to comfort him like he did with me.

“Yes I guess you can say that, I feel as if the devil is hot on my heels, tainting and destroying everything I touch”
I let out a long deep sigh, I so desperately wanted my filly back – my filly and my mate, I corrected myself, I knew I would from now on be doomed to live alone in a herd as an outsider, I knew of no other who were into my morals other than my deceased mate. I looked up at the clear sky above us, why couldn’t I just be normal? Live like a normal mare in a herd – sharing her stallion with the rest of the mares, becoming one big family? I could try, but somehow deep inside me I knew I wouldn’t be able to succeed. For me I needed one stallion, and that could never be the lead of a herd – he would always have to breed to his mares, love them all equally, while I would require his full love.

“It sucks to be different”

I mumbled while lowering my gaze to look at Riku again, some day he would lead a herd – I was certain of that, and maybe someday Kairi and Sora would come and join him – or take him back to where he came from.

“What will you do if Sora and Kairi comes here?”

I asked in a curious tone, what would he actually do? My dark eyes sought out his again as I awaited an answer.

so different

[azul.]

R I K U

...Bokura wa sukoshi dake obieteta.

For the time I spent, thinking about Sora and Kairi, I just tuned out the world. Those were good memories. The world around m was black, and I just viewed one of the battles that Sora and I had. On the lonesome hill top, connected to Destiny Islands by a bridge, I could see Sora's small frame being tossed back slightly. My frame, equally small, but taller and more elegant, rose in victory. I wore smug smile, but it faded when Sora rose p, mumbling to himself. "Hey, c'mon Sora, you just need to concentrate more. You'll get it." Even if Sora had lost, and he was left depressed about the day, it was still a cherished memory. That showed how much I missed him, them.

Then, Jayila touched my mug. It surprised me, making my eyes blink a few times. I stared at her, and snorted slowly, the corner of my mouth lifting into a small smile. My eyes retracted to the earthen toned floor though. I stared at that, then I stared at the lake. When she spoke, I nodded my dished crown. I understood everything of what she was hearing. I understood it all. I felt distracted, so instead, I didn't say anything, and just looked around, my blue-green eyes glittering. "Hey, Riku? We're still here, keep your spirits up man, alright?" Yeah, I guess so. She spoke again. "It sucks to be different." This startled me. My crown twisted to see her facial features. The smile on my features disappeared, as I spoke.

"I- When I was seperated from Sora and Kairi, back on the islands, before darkness swallowed me, placing it's grip on me, I wanted to be different. I wanted to see the world around me. If I didn't want to be different, I'd still be on the island. But yet, I've learned so much, even if that meant that I had darkness over-come me. I don't want to be the same. Even if I wanted to be the same as everyone, I knew that I would never be the same. He won't let me. No one else has another one inside them, telling them to kill, and another side saying that your heart is good. I- I don't know anymore, I don't know what life really is. Do you understand?"

Wow, that was certainly an earful for Jayila. I dumped all my emotions out on her, and yet, she said something that I didn't want to re-live. My voice caught in my throat, making me swallow, and sigh. "What will you do if Sora and Kairi come here?" I, don't know. I really don't know. Everything in my mind was silent now. Not even Xehanort spoke. Kairi, Sora, everyone, everything, it was silent. It scared me. His eyes couldn't lie. My eyes, they can't lie, even if I did make something up, she could see right through me. I could see right through myself, and that hurt. I would just add to the lies I had stored up, and I didn't want to do that. Truthfully, I spoke. My tone was so reluctant to speak, but I knew that I needed to.

"I think... I think that if I saw them, I don't know what I'd do. Think of your foal. If she was perfect in every way, and you were seperated, I think you'd know how I feel. I want to see them so bad, I miss them so, so much, but they live in the light. Sora's heart, Kairi's too, they were purely gold. If they're the light, then I need to man up and be in the dark, but it doesn't change how I feel. I just need to see them, and just be a family again, but it doesn't mean that I'd leave. I don't know."

That much was true, I didn't tell a single lie, but I still felt like I was hurting inside. Why was it? At least I had a heart, but if it hurt so bad, if it longed for them, then it seemed to be worse than not having one at all.

[nuzzer2]

; Jaliya

I giggled a bit as he blinked a shy little fella eh? I returned his smile with one of my own. I let out a sigh as his smile disappeared and mine faded away as well, why was it affecting me so? This stallion I just met not long ago – already had this affect on me? If I could I would have smacked myself, I was acting like a young filly in love damn it! I swore to myself I would not fall for this .. this.. brute! No that was the wrong word to use about him, he had shown me nothing but kindness so far – accepted my ‘insane’ side, I felt more connected with him than anyone before.

Then what’s wrong girl? What was wrong? I could not allow myself to fall in love with him, he would not be like me – Riku would probably be a leader of a herd, which would require him to breed with the mares that joined him and – I let out a deep sigh and lowered my eyes to the ground, life always had to be difficult didn’t it? Besides IF he wasn’t about to become a lead, there was another problem – called Sora and Kairi – ugh, I could not call them a problem, more like an obstacle, since he would probably leave with them.

I raised my head and my dark orbs along with them and glanced at the sky, I missed my family – my mate and my little filly, if they had just been alive, I would never have been put in this dilemma or ever been haunted by the voices by my deceased mother and him.

“I understand – or well a little, you just need to hang on and try to ignore him. But that’s easy to say isn’t it? I’ve never been able to ignore his voice, it’s like a snake whispering poison into your ears and you can’t block it out no matter what you do, you can scream, cry or even throw yourself in some lake”

I barked out a laugh at the last part that had been well thought through on my part. I locked my orbs with his and saw the raw emotion running through them as he spoke again, I was even more convinced now – if they came he would leave with them. Once again I lowered my eyes to the ground, so the only ‘friend’ – if you could call him that, I had gotten myself now would leave me when his old mates showed up. I thought back on my filly, if she had been perfect – if she had been complete, I would go through fire and water to come back to her, so I guess I couldn’t blame him.

“I would go through fire, water, lightning whatever to get back to her, she was my one and everything”

My voice was hoarse and full of emotions, as I stared directly into the jade eyes of Riku. Did he have a family back there also? Was he attracted to this Kairi? I grew shameful as I realized how little I knew of him – and how much he knew of me, oh wow so very caring I was.

be true to yourself

[azul.]

R I K U

...Natsukashii iro ni, mado ga, somaru.

I went from feeling so confused, shocked, surprised... No, that wasn't it. I couldn't describe how I felt, so when Jayila touched my muzzle, and I blinked, I was just trying to sort out how I felt. The dreams, the dreams I had. My dreams were slowly becoming tainted into nightmares. They were still good, but I was beginning to lose the minor details about the stories. They didn't matter, but they would lead to another bigger piece of the story, until I completely forgot about my past life. When I forgot about my past, would I forget about Sora and Kairi? If I did, then I would end up submitting to Xehanort, and he would forever control me. That would be the worst fate I could overcome. My trembling continued with such force, I began to break out in a faint layer of sweat. I wanted to wake up, but I couldn't. I was even mumbling to myself, in my head. My lips didn't form words, just a soft tone of fright. I need to escape, I need to leave this life, but I can't. I can't leave my nightmares behind and start over. Why was it so hard to begin again? Oh yes, one side of me wanted to start over. The other side was so confident, and wanted me to stay in this wrath forever. Xehanort.

He was making me life a nightmare, but I can't shake him from me. He just clung to me, using me as a pawn. I wanted out, and so when Jayila spoke of the ways out, it made me nod. I knew, everything she was going through. I knew. Her last sentance ended with a sting to myself. If I came, just minutes later, would I have walked upon a dead horse, or would she still be alive, struggling, breathing in her last breaths? I stared at her, blinking a few times. Shake it off Riku, don't think about that now.

"I can't ignore him. He's the other half of me. He's using me to live, and until I see him in the real life, I can't get him away. Even then, I may not be strong enough to fight him, and win. If I lose, I lose it all. I lose life as I know it, no matter how bad it can seem."

So my example worked. She knew how hard it was to be away from them. I didn't have any words to tell her, to agree, but a simple nod of my head, and my crown flicking in a short motion, moving the steel tinted tassels from my blue-green eyes. They showed the desperate agreement. The eyes couldn't lie. I still didn't understand, but it seemed like a little true at this moment. With my breath being exhaled slowly, I looked towards the sky. It was darkening, and I could no longer see the reflection in the lake. Now, it was like a liquid gold coloring, and I sighed faintly. It was time for me to leave, but I didn't want to. I didn't have a place to go, just wander around some more. I spoke slowly, hesitantly.

"Well.. I suppose you have a place to get back to, unless they won't let you sleep. I- I can stay, if you'd like. It's not like I have any other place to go."

[nuzzer2]

; Jaliya

The feeling of dread washed over me, as I watched different emotions run across Riku’s features and I stepped back, I didn’t mean to step in on his personal area and felt slightly ashamed of doing so. I was too rash and I knew it and that wasn’t like me to be, normally I’d be the careful one – the wise one knowing exactly when and how to approach other equines, but I just felt.. Lost. I raised my cranium and glanced at the sky shortly, it was getting darker and soon the blanket of terror would settle upon our unaware bodies – in the night the equines wasn’t the kings and queens of the plains, no, the night belonged to the predators. Wolves, bears, leopards – you name it, and then of course there was an exception because predators roamed freely alongside the darks, they could smell your fear from miles away and would come running like a mouse towards its much loved cheese.

I knew I was standing at a way splitting in two directions, one went in the light’s direction and one in the dark’s – I’d have to choose sooner or later which one I would continue my journey out on, but – why was it so hard? I had been a dark mare – a hell of a nasty one even – all my life, how could a single stallion and a baby change that? Yes my mate had been a light hunter, and a beautiful one at that. We had met by accident, I had been wandering as usual and he had been doing the same – we had heard each other for miles away and were both ready for combat when we would get the other in sight. But something happened – like a true fairytale – uff it hurt to say, we hadn’t attacked each other, we had cast a few insults at each other but it all had ended up in a long conversation of everything between earth and sky.

It had been a nightmare to seen his body – I had been heavily pregnant and was just resting when he left me to ‘go for a walk’. He hadn’t been gone for long before I heard the howls of my pack brothers – the wolves – and I had felt like standing up and screaming to them that I was here, that I missed them greatly, but I kept silent – I carried a light baby in my belly, they would be able to sniff that and look at me with eyes full of sorrow – sorrow because one of their own betrayed them. I heard more howls, they were launching their attack on something big – and it was then I realized… I had jumped to my legs quickly, yelling at the top of my lungs for my dear stallion, yelling at the wolves to let him be – but my heavy stomach hurt too much to set the hunt in – to save my loved one.

He didn’t return that night, he didn’t return next morning either – my heart was bleeding and I needed answers now, I had stumbled to my legs and into the forest, searching for my loved one, calling out his name desperately as I walked through the silent woods. They had caught him in a clearing, he had been surrounded and unable to defeat that many wolves himself – I remember staring down at his torn chestnut pelt, it had not been a pretty sight and my heart had never felt as heavy, as when I turned around and walked away.

I returned to the present and stared at Riku with eyes filled with sorrow, I knew how it was like to have demons in my body – but he was actually ‘possessed’ by one if you can call it that, how could he live with it? But then again, I was glad he did.

“You won’t lose Riku, you will win – you need to win”

I kept my orbs locked onto his, they were full with determination

“Fight him, fight him the best you’ve learned – draw your strength from your loved ones and don’t ever say or even think he’ll win”

I could only tell him what I had succeeded in doing, when my mate had died, my love for the little creature in my belly had kept me alive - she had made me want to fight for both her and myself so I succeeded in pulling through. My ears poked forward as he spoke again, I can stay if you’d like? Of course I would love for him to stay, but what if he didn’t want to himself? What if he was just being a gentleman?

“This is the only place I’ve been so far, I have nowhere to go either – if you’d like to stay it would be nice, I enjoy your company and I feel safe with you – however if you want to go, I don’t want to keep you here”

My words were completely honest, yes I did enjoy his company – very much, and I really did feel quite safe with him being near – which was quite weird considering we were both mentally insane.[/size]XD

completely and utterly insane

[azul.]

R I K U

...Mae wo muitereba, mata aemasu ka.

She backed away from me, and reading her eyes, lowered to the ground, she must have felt embarassed, ashamed? Oh no, that wasn't it at all! I was just lost within my own, struggling thoughts. I didn't know how to fix the situation though. Tell her that it's alright in words, or by the old, trusting eyes. Hmm. It was hard to choose, to be honest. To make it worse, with me thinking of so much else, I didn't do anything for that while. My eyes closed for a few moments, and I nodded in a small apology. An apology for my being, an apology for me being so confusing. I nuzzled her neck softly, and sighed heavily. My voice emitted.

"Sometimes life doesn't seem worth it. Sometimes it does. It's so confusing."

The words were mainly spoken to myself, but no doubt, she could hear. I was just talking, not whispering, not yelling. It was just pushed into the open, so I let it out, oh well. I talked a lot, I didn't talk enough, it went back and forth. That's Riku for you. The darkening sky, it later donned on me, that predators would emerge from their slumber and hunt. Just the thought of the future prey made my spine shiver. Usually, when I was still with Maleficent, or Ansem, Xehanort's actual real life figure who was still around, I didn't know where, the predators were the prey. They were scared of me. I wasn't scared of them now, but there was still, and always would be a small moment of fear when I see them. Would they be against me now, or on my side? Or, would I still rule over them? When Jayila spoke, it helped me shake it all off. I looked at her, and nodded. I wasn't so sure, but I agreed anyway.

"Well, I have no other place to go, unless I was back at the Lake, with Serpent. But, I can stay, if you want to stay here. I'll stay with you Jayila."

Was that an introduction for her to follow him? Surely, that idea was over-rated, but it would be safer than staying here. My breath was exhaled, making me shift my weight tiredly.