have some heartbreak.

[azul.]

R I K U

Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge,
Chikau koto wa kore ga saigo no Heartbreak.

The days had started to warm up, and with it came the blinding rain that made the Lake overflow. I didn't mind; I liked the water, but the excessive amount that made it hard to see, let alone move made the mood around her quiet and frightening. The rain had thankfully let up some today. It resulted in a constant drizzle that made my dappled tassels stick to my body. Sapphire orbs struggled to see in the hazy realm, but I knew that there was signs of life in here. There was Jayila, Serpent, Falin, and Einjeru. They were all around here. I had a lot of difficult tasks to hold up. Serpent, by this time would be a three year old. By tradition in lands like that, it was time for him to leave. I was supposed to kick him out so he could find his own land, his own loves, and let him tough it out, but I knew how that felt. I was technically kicked away from Sora and Kairi, and I couldn't bare to do that to my son- even though he wasn't related to me, I still considered him to be that. So I felt bad. I felt like a wet blanket, in more ways than one. I also felt guilty.

It had been a year since Einjeru was born. She was a picture of perfection that had come from Jaliya and I. Her sparkling bay coat, and those sapphire eyes that she got from me were always something I could remember. But we hadn't talked at all. She always disappeared to do something else, and I hadn't been making much of an effort either, but I felt like I was doing something wrong. I needed to go out and do something with her, before I lost her. I couldn't lose anyone else, now that I hadn't seen Snyper for four months. It was hard, so I had to remain strong and hold on to anyone else that I had left. I had to make that bond with Einjeru, so off in search I went.

I traveled around all of the Lake's realm, over and over, looking everywhere. I even resorted to standing still, half expecting Einjeru to appear and hug me. She didn't. Eventually, I was standing near the entrance of the Lake, towards the open lands. I sighed, looking out, and then closed my eyes. How could you do something like bond again? It seemed to be too late. Shame. I looked around again, and parted my kissers, calling out softly for my daughter.

[nuzzer2]

; E I N J E R U

Winter had been kind to my mind and body, yet my bright sapphire orbs showed longing; longing for the snow to clear so that I – I cut myself off, and closed my unnatural bright eyes. My young frame was growing with every second day, the thick curly winter – or was it my foal coat? Was coming off, and I felt like I was leaving a huge trail of hair behind me. I judge by the look of the trees hanging over me, that spring had arrived and I wasn’t sure if that was a relief or burden, through winter I had an excuse to avoid him – to stay close to my mom’s heated body, but now? I couldn’t avoid it for much longer, my conscience was bugging me; poking me with the fact I had been more than a coward when I left him by the beach. My heart pumped faster in my slender chest as his picture appeared in my mind, but I knew it could be no more than a picture – not now, not ever. I had made a promise to myself; to my daddy, I knew he disliked Intrepid and I still loved my daddy more than the young sabino colt. I let out a quiet sigh, my neck relaxed as I lowered my maw to the fresh bright grass just below me.

I had sought shelter from the curious eyes of my mother and Serpent, and by now I could also sense that another mare had joined our little family. At first I had felt extremely jealous; that yet another had come to crave the attention of my dad, the attention that I wanted so desperately – but never got. But as time passed I got used to it, there was no point in being jealous, and could I really blame my dad if he felt lonely? If he wanted to increase the size of his family? No, I loved him too much for that. The ghostly stallion that just seemed to appear out of nowhere, the one I loved more than anyone else in the whole world, was his own person – and I couldn’t allow my childish problems to affect him. Yet again a quiet sigh slipped from my lips before I could prevent it, why was everything so complicated – why couldn’t the world be perfect?

I rose up on stiff legs; making sure to stretch them all as my mother wisely had advised me to. Once and only once I had tried to stand up and just run for it, and I sorely regretted it, my long pillars had been sore for a couple of days – so the lesson had been learned. A weak smile touched my small lips as the misty lake came in sight, I loved the waters of the lake – even though it was dangerous. Approaching the lake with long steps a grin slowly graced my features, as I reached the bank; I took a few careful steps out in the pitch black water. The water was freezing cold, but that didn’t bother me much, I moved out further until the black liquid connected with my heated belly. I released a squeal of pleasure; of happiness and excitement, I loved the water – perhaps I was half water horse?

The soft call of my father reached my small ears, and I froze, was something wrong? My slender legs fought their way to the shore, then towards the almost silent call. As he came in sight, I approached with stealthy slow movements. Soon I stood at his side, reaching over and playfully nipping at his ghostly colored pelt.

“What is it father?”

My eyes still shone with excitement and happiness, and my bay coat was still dripping wet from splashing my way to the shore in my hurry to reach him quickly. However my tone was as calm as ever, soft and curious – what could he possibly want from me? Either way I was just happy to see him again.

[azul.]

R I K U

Sakura sae kaze no naka de yurete,
Yagate hana wo sakasu yo.

Sapphire orbs held a moment of anxiety when the lightning sizzled over my head. It passed quickly, and left the rain that lightly fell around me, but my attention must have left with the lightning. "Eh, Riku? You are going to talk to her, right?" For once, Xehanort was calm, and he was just sitting back. He was caring, hn. Strange feeling. "I mean, after all, she is you daughter. She's ready to leave you already." Oh, compassionate moment ended right there. My facade creased into a scowl, and I huffed out a soft breath. Yes Xehanort, I'll talk to her. Why would you even ask? It's not like you care. "Oh, to the contrary Riku! See, I know something you don't. It includes Einjeru." That infuriated me, for the fact that I was probably being tricked. I stomped my foreleg and ignored Xehanort, and then returned to being worried for my daughter.

My throat still stung from my call for Einjeru. I'm not sure why it did, but my nares struggled to find some breath after that. I slowly sighed, my eyes catching a movement on the other side of the bleak, chilled lake. I wanted to investigate, forgetting about Xehanort's words, and my limbs stepped forward eagerly, aerials pricked to the sound. I found Einjeru, playing in the water. Did she remember the warning that Jaliya had sent her once? "Stay away from the water dear, it's not safe." I almost smiled; Einjeru had grown so much since then. I remaine quiet, just watching her frolic in the chilled waters. I could undertstand her fascination with the water. I was like that too, back at the islands. But, back then I loved the water, and I couldn't stand the island. Towards the end of my stay there, I always felt that it was a prison there. Such a change from then; now I longed to be back there with them.

I stepped back from watching Einjeru and moved back to where I was, feeling nearly rejoiceful from her high spirits. Sapphire orbs caught sight of the bay princess again, and she approached quietly, like how everyone here did. I grinned, my limbs prancing in place, and I even craned my neck to watch her when she niped my dappled pelt. I laughed and reached over, tenderly nipping at her hind quarters, then bumped her softly, smiling. Finally, I straightened, and twisted my crown to watch Einjeru out of the corner of one sapphire eye.

"Hello Ein. I just wanted to see how you are."

When I spoke, I suddenly felt awkward, like a surge of protection climbing over me. My crown raised, then lowered to Einjeru's level, and I gestured her forward, so we could walk around the lake. I wanted to talk to her, my voice growing serious, but I just couldn't seem to form any words. Eventually, I was able to open my kissers enough to start speaking slowly.

"What have you been up to darling? You haven't, been around here much lately."

My voice was casual, but I was picking up on Xehanort's warning lyrics. He had been right about a lot of things, so why was I worrying? I sighed quietly, and looked at Einjeru, smiling as I took long steps around the lake.

[nuzzer2]

; E I N J E R U

Physically I was right there beside my proud father, but mentally I was a completely other place. In my mind I was standing beside in front of a split way, to one side stood Intrepid – and to the other stood the ghostly grey stallion, both were tapping impatiently; their eyes telling me to hurry, come with them now. I took a step in Intrepid’s direction, but quickly the impatient look in my fathers eyes changed to hurt, and I quickly changed direction – trotting with my dad without looking back. The deep rumbling told me that my sire had spoken without me noticing, and I quickly ducked my head to cover my embarrassment for not listening, mentally I also smacked myself for being so disrespectful, but hey, I choose him right? I raised my crown and stared at the older stallion as he started to walk, and I quickly followed him while keeping my sapphire orbs locked on his. He asked of my whereabouts lately, and I suddenly felt nervous and scared what would he say if I told him of Intrepid? I stared in his calm orbs, praying for a good response.

“I met Intrepid at the beach father, he’s not as bad as you think – he was very sweet towards me. Don’t misunderstand me, I would never leave you or the herd without consulting you first, after all you’re my daddy.”

I spoke up with a quiet serious tone, it did change into a playful childish at the end though – trying to remind him that I was still his young daughter, and desperately needed his approval of my actions. He was my king, my protector and heart of the lands – but also my papa and my hero, without him I would be lost. I let out a sigh of misery, my mom was starting to grow distant – and I suspected her mind were elsewhere when I tried to talk with her, and I couldn’t quite figure out why; did she want to go back? I focused on my father again, could I blame him for the slow poisoning of my precious mom? Never.

“I saw you brought a new mare to the territory father, have you informed mom yet? Tell me about her will you?”

I didn’t know why I felt this urge to keep the fragile order of these lands, why I needed to shun the chaos far away; perhaps I was taking my role of princess too serious? Was I even princess? I had just assumed out from the small pieces of facts my parents had provided me with on several occasions. My life hadn’t been full of butterflies and laughter, but it had been good so far – even though we were living on dark lands, and it had always confused me why.

“Umm daddy, why do we live on dark lands? I heard there was unclaimed more ehm, lighter lands more south?”

True it had always confused me why we were living on dark lands, when none of my parents seemed.. Dark. I looked my father over searchingly, was there something to him that he didn’t show? Was he more dark than I thought? I frowned; this life was a true puzzle.

[azul.]

R I K U

Furidashita nastsu no ame ga
Namida no yoko wo totta su-tto

"Face it Riku. You're going to lose her." The colt blooded stallion took on another tone, almost compassionate, and in my mind, I stared at his amber eyes, feeling my lethargic nature return. He didn't even bother to try and control me; this must be bad. I tried to ignore his casual warnings, to brush them off with ease, but even I could see his "I told you so," look when Einjeru started to speak. She spoke with a solemn tone, but it ended with her usual vocals. "I met Intrepid at the beach father, he’s not as bad as you think – he was very sweet towards me. Don’t misunderstand me, I would never leave you or the herd without consulting you first, after all you’re my daddy." No.. My sapphire orbs avoided meeting Einjeru's for a few moments, and I looked past her, seeing Xehanort walk beside us. "See? She's already trapped in the place. Like you, it's become a prison." I felt my temper rise, my sapphire orbs flickering with such anger that would certainly draw out him.

But why? My own daughter was trying to convince me that the prince of a demon was like an angel. That was already bad, and then she gave me a choice of sorts. I could let her get away with that colt, or have her stay here and live in misery. Either way, I would be the bad guy. Without noticing, my smooth steps became rigid, and I paced with such a fast tone, I was nearly jogging. I avoided Einjeru's eyes, striding away from her, my arabian outline looking all jumbled now. My orbs raised, far off into the distance, showing the clear hurt in my thoughts. They went on and on, surging through my head, bringing up different things. I opened my mouth and started to speak.

"Nothing I do can change anything."

My vocals were cased with that solemn tone. I longed to mention Snyper. The colt was gone, all because of Intrepid and his sister. Would the same happen with Einjeru? It couldn't happen, it really couldn't. I took into account, her soft, playful vocals, but I brushed them aside without thought. She couldn't draw me over to like the pinto colt. I would never accept it. But at the same point, I couldn't do anything about it, and's that's what made me crazy. I looked back towards Xehanort, trying to see how he felt, and then I sighed. He had long since left me to bask in my worry. As quickly as Einjeru brought Intrepid up, she started to speak about the newest herd member. I walked even faster, my steps off beat and unsteady.

"No, I haven't told your mom yet. She's probably- never mind. I'm sure Jaliya is worried. But, the new member's name is Falin. You don't worry; you won't be around much either way."

My voice ended with an edge. From what I knew, I hadn't even seen Jaliya, but her filly didn't live at all. Was she worried about Einjeru? Worried about the same fate. At this point, I was too, but I must have handled things differently. Taking a sharp turn to the left, I started away from the lake, seeing faitn symbols in my head, all leading to mistakes. I didn't realize that Einjeru was talking until I heard her question why we all lived in a dark, bleak lands. I bristled, my whole body shuddering. "Tell her Riku. Tell her why we're here." Suddenly he was back, staring me in the face from the bushes. I blinked, my sapphire orbs cautious in the dark, hazy morning.

"Enough! I am half a dark, half a prisoned colt. Jaliya is a dark with a soul. Chaos is a dark tryant, and Intrepid is sure to follow in his father's footsteps."

My voice charged out into the warm air, more of a roar than organized vocals. "Are you done yet Riku?" I started to look towards Einjeru's sapphire orbs, but when I heard Xehanort, I looked away with a defiant nature, and started speaking again. I stopped walking, and instead stood at the border lines between my home and outside world, glaring into the distance.

"I have a demon dwelling inside me.. No doubt, Intrepid has one inside him. For him to show any emotion other than hatrid is a miracle. But there's nothing I can say, however, there is no in between. Once you leave here, to be with him, or with any other one out there, you will not come back and expect me to refer to you as my tender baby. You will have grown up, only to be Einjeru, the daughter of Riku. Nothing more."

I was so angry with everything now. I had proven that nothing could be in between. I was either with Sora and Kairi, or stuck here with a broken down family. With the news of Jaliya depressed, like Africa was, I had already started to set myself up for death. "This would make good research for me Riku." I closed my light eyes for a few moments, and then opened them, staring back at Xehanort. My lips tightened, and then I looked towards Einjeru, my head slinging towards the outside growns, the graceful rain drops now devouring me in turrents. I still spoke confidently, my attitude far from it.

"Go talk to Chaos. Tell him that you love Intrepid, and see what he says. But, if you do need help, just call for Xehanort, not me. I can't help you anymore."

I remained still, dizzy. My knees wobbled and I released a small breath, staring at Einjeru blankly, wishing that Xehanort would actually be helpful and show up right now.

[nuzzer2]

; E I N J E R U

I stared at my much loved father with sad eyes, when had he evolved to this? Where was the proud stallion? The family dad? I shook my crown; backing up slowly – creating a distance between me and him. I listened to his words, listened to his madness, was this the true nature of darks? My heart slowly began filling with bitterness and a sour taste spread in my mouth. I raised my proud tiara into the air, and I didn’t as much as blink as Sapphire clashed with Sapphire. Was this fate? Father giving into madness, and daughter rising up against him – for a short moment I felt sorry for my mom, how could she love him? My heart clenched tightly at my own thoughts, how I, his own daughter; flesh and blood; betray my daddy like this? However his last words threw me over the edge, and anger flared clearly in my eyes.

“Coward! Coward I say! Hiding behind a demon – perhaps he isn’t even as bad as you! I feel sorry for every single mare you’re going to drag into this godforsaken land you call yours; father!”

I screamed with fury and – fear? The last word was spoken with venom, his betrayal had cut me deeper than I wanted to admit, and I didn’t notice the river of tears cascading down my cheeks. I backed up towards the exit of the lands, he had told me to leave hadn’t he? He had shunned me from the only place I felt safe, leaving my fragile year old body to the wolves – where was help when it was needed? My bay body was now shaking with fear, yet my mind was set in stone; he had banished me, or so I thought.

“You’re no better than Serpents mom, and I’m even your own flesh and blood! I thought you loved me daddy.”

I whispered with a soft defeated tone, then turned and headed for the border of the lands, as I crossed I stopped for a second – looking back at my once so proud daddy, oh how it hurt. My last tear fell on the border between the Black lake and the unknown, quickly I set off into a fast pace towards the other dark lands – perhaps Intrepid would protect me? I wouldn’t survive long without a herd to protect me, but I hoped – no prayed, that the gods were kind enough to let me live. Perhaps one day the ghostly stallion could forgive me – and perhaps one day I could forgive him.

ooc: DRAMAH!!! =D